The woman I used to be Worked

I was a teacher, a librarian, a director, a community leader for 45 years. I retired in 2010 and loved the fact that I could be my own person now. My husband has dementia but still functions reasonably well because of his military training. He has no bad habits like drinking, smoking, chasing women, except me. He has no short term memory at all, but after 47 years, it is too late for a trade in. We just do whatever we need to do, bug sometimes I want to get involved and fo stuff, but I can’t.  Why is that I ask myself?   I sometimes answer that I want to be free of obligations to other outside my family. I sometimes answer my health is bad and I do not have the strength or energy to get involved. Today I had a meeting scheduled to help out an organization I admire.  I worked with them for more than 10 years. It was cancelled, but I hadn’t read my email or Facebook message, I was working to hard trying to get there to stop and read my email or message.

That finally gave me the correct answer. It is work for me to be involved. I have to get up before noon, get showered, dressed and go someplace. It feels like work when I do this. I do not want to work anymore. I have been there and done there. I am done with work. I did my assigned duties for 45 years. I want to play for the rest of my life. I want play with grandsons, my children, my nieces my nephews, my little kids at the Boys & Girls club that I founded. I want to go to the library and discuss books and play games. I hate having to be anywhere before noon. I love reading, writing and doing whatever I like.  I am a educated, highly praised, often quoted, legend in my own time ” bum.”

I am happy I lived long enough to get this title. I stay up all night reading books, I order ebooks and virtual books everyday.  I go to plays, theatres, movies and museums whenever I have the opportunity to do so, at a moment’s notice.

I am going to say “no” whenever someone ask me to work from now on.  I really don’t want to have to do anything before noon, because I am my own best person now and I do not want to do anything before noon, except maybe read a book, watch “price is right” or blog about my life.  I will play cards with my grandson at anytime. He is my blessing.  I will get up and get on the road to visit my grandsons before noon, so we get to Chicago just in time for rush hour traffic, omg I hate that too almost as much as work.  What can I say, I am a very strange old lady.  I really love her.

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