Blog

The woman I used to be Worked

I was a teacher, a librarian, a director, a community leader for 45 years. I retired in 2010 and loved the fact that I could be my own person now. My husband has dementia but still functions reasonably well because of his military training. He has no bad habits like drinking, smoking, chasing women, except me. He has no short term memory at all, but after 47 years, it is too late for a trade in. We just do whatever we need to do, bug sometimes I want to get involved and fo stuff, but I can’t.  Why is that I ask myself?   I sometimes answer that I want to be free of obligations to other outside my family. I sometimes answer my health is bad and I do not have the strength or energy to get involved. Today I had a meeting scheduled to help out an organization I admire.  I worked with them for more than 10 years. It was cancelled, but I hadn’t read my email or Facebook message, I was working to hard trying to get there to stop and read my email or message.

That finally gave me the correct answer. It is work for me to be involved. I have to get up before noon, get showered, dressed and go someplace. It feels like work when I do this. I do not want to work anymore. I have been there and done there. I am done with work. I did my assigned duties for 45 years. I want to play for the rest of my life. I want play with grandsons, my children, my nieces my nephews, my little kids at the Boys & Girls club that I founded. I want to go to the library and discuss books and play games. I hate having to be anywhere before noon. I love reading, writing and doing whatever I like.  I am a educated, highly praised, often quoted, legend in my own time ” bum.”

I am happy I lived long enough to get this title. I stay up all night reading books, I order ebooks and virtual books everyday.  I go to plays, theatres, movies and museums whenever I have the opportunity to do so, at a moment’s notice.

I am going to say “no” whenever someone ask me to work from now on.  I really don’t want to have to do anything before noon, because I am my own best person now and I do not want to do anything before noon, except maybe read a book, watch “price is right” or blog about my life.  I will play cards with my grandson at anytime. He is my blessing.  I will get up and get on the road to visit my grandsons before noon, so we get to Chicago just in time for rush hour traffic, omg I hate that too almost as much as work.  What can I say, I am a very strange old lady.  I really love her.

Fixed

I am only a fan doing the finals of any sports. I watched the NCAA and cheer for my home state University of Kansas. I read everything and follow all reports. I love it until KU loses, than I become an expert on officiating and rules. That is how it goes until KU is out and I am through. You can stick a fork in it and I am “done” for the year. This year I watched the Warriors and liked Step Curry. I love him on and off the court. I have been watching and ” supporting” the warriors, well I am done with the NBA.

The warriors beat the  Cav religiously for three games. Now on game four the Cavs are ” killing” the warriors. Now how could that be? Cav win by 19 points. The wrestle, they box, they fight, they foul, they acts like great big kids. I used to believe the NBA finals were fixed, so I quit watching. The winning team always lost the fourth game, so the finals would be lengthened to seven games, winner wins four games out of seven.  After watching this fourth game, I am done, it is fixed. The more games they play, the “mo” money they all make.  I still love Steph Curry and Clay Thompson, but it is “fixed” to give everyone a chance to make more money.  I am no longer a fan of the NBA.  I am rocket woman “flying” on my own steam.

University of Kansas loss in the Elite Eight

I am a jayhawkers born in Kansas and a true sunflower girl, always proud of Kansas. Tonight after a wonderful season of playing awesome basketball we lost. I am sad and very disappointed but I know “the sun will come out tomorrow, tomorrow” and we will survive. We are more than basketball. We are a place where you can see forever across the plains. We have always been a free state, and we fought to protect those who escaped slavery and ran to freedom in Kansas. We had the case of Brown vs Topeka BOE that eventually reached The Supreme Court and ruled segregation of schools illegal.

I support the University of Kansas because this school always admitted African Americans, unlike many other colleges in the country. I am proud to be a Kansan, regardless of how folks make fun of our flat state. I received a great education in Kansas, partially because I has some great teachers, both black and white. I remember many of my white teachers helping me get a job to go to college. I also remember our white friends standing with us on human rights and equality for all. That was very important to me as a black girl growing up in the sixties. I never felt as though I was not capable of doing well in school and I met so many like me later in life who never had a white teacher who cared

I had many who cared about me and black teachers who were my role models too. So even though we have to lose sometimes in Kansas, like now with a Govenor who has dismantled and destroyed much of our good education, we will survive and ” the sun will come out Tomorrow” and I hope Coach Self and all the guys on KU basketball team remember, they gave us lots of joy all year. We had two big guys and mostly freshmen on our team, but they played their hearts out. Good luck seniors and you have the heart to succeed in any field you decide to engage in. I am proud to be a Kansas jayhawker. It was not our season to go to the final four. We been there many times in the past and we will go again in the future. I will be cheering for KU always.

Letter to an awesome friend,

Dear friend,

I really love you, because you are  like me in many ways. You can be sad and gloomy and moody on some days. You can be very soothing and calm on other days, like me when I “trusting in God” and not going crazy because of something that happened.

I like you, Gulf when you are kind and calm and cool and collected. You are almost never as angry and wild as the Atlantic or Pacific. You are almost never as dark or dreary as the Atlantic or the Pacific. You are never as wild as they are either, well every hundred years you might become this big ugly hurricane companion and guide it on land to destroy everything and everybody, but mostly you are not that kind of friend.

 

I love how all your friends come to visit and feel better when they leave because you soothe the folks feel calm and cool and 😊. They  come from everywhere to lie in the sand and water next to you. They adore you. They buy stuff with you on it, like towels, cups, pictures, plates and stuff. I always loved you from afar because I could never get a job close enough to visit you everyday. I dreamed of being near you for 30 years and seven years ago, my dream came true. I live across the street from you and see you everyday. I am so glad dreams really do come true. Now whenever I feel gloomy, I just go look and listen to you and I feel better. Thanks for bring a friend over the years and never changing.  I hope you stay the same forever and “I must go down to the sea again”  like Edna St.Vincent Millay writes.

 

awesome sea

Your pictures are gorgeous and I love the sea too. I really love the Gulf of Mexico because it is much nicer than the Atlantic or the Pacific. It is beautiful Teal and Aquamarine in God Panhandle of Florida. It is often smooth with hardly any waves some days. I love that and on those days I think it is telling me to “chill out” life will calm down sooner later. I feel better. Lizzy

I should have started my last post about Florida bugs with a confession: I could have avoided the whole thing by sticking to the paths … … instead of bushwhacking through the mangroves. Well, no matter. We’ve put the bugs behind us and have finally made it to the beach! During our trip to Florida […]

via Florida’s vast, vulnerable beaches — HeideBlog

Praying for others blesses you too. Pray for those who would spitefully use you and those who take from you without ever giving or thanking you. Every prayer is a connection to God that’s strengthens you too.

When my friend Marie Pechet died in December, she sent me a spiritual gift. That may sound strange to some of you but anyone who has read her blog or who knew her knows what I’m talking about. Marie was all about spirits, serendipities and God connections. So I wasn’t at all surprised when I […]

via What I Pray For You — Mended Musings

On being married forever

i have been married twice. The first was in college and I knew that was mistake even before I married. I think I thought graduating and getting married was how you become middle class. I grew up poor and the first female to actually graduate from college back in the sixties. He was “controlling, physically and mentally abusive”and I tried to keep it together for five years. I left many time after each physical altercation but after planning his murder, I finally left for the last time.

I divorced and moved back home with my family and my son. I taught school and prayed for a good man for two years. I met him in February of 1970. He was in the Army and I had never dated a soldier, because they was notorious for having women all the world. He said he fell in love with me when he saw me walking across the college campus  where I was in pursuit of my Masters in the summers. I didn’t see him but he swears he saw me. We met later at a dance with all my family accompanying me. He was a really  handsome guy and I saw him across the room.  We danced and the next day he took me to church. He took me to dinner and the movies every week for 14 month and asked me to marry me before he was deployed to Germany. That was 48 years ago, another son and two grandsons ago. He adopted my son from my previous marriage and told his dad to get lost.

Yep he loves me unconditionally and with all my craziness, he has always been the “wind beneath my wings” as I finished my Master and continued with classes for the next 25 years. We lived in Europe while he served in the military, while I traveled to East Berlin, Switzerland, Austria, Italy, Netherlands, Belgium and throughout Germany. We were stationed in Alabama and Colorado before he retired and lived in Kansas while one son graduated and another completed gradeschool. He was always there for me and our sons.

He supported me going to teach in Africa twice and traveling an teaching throughout the country while teaching at a University. He supported my being involved in every type of community activity, winning numerous awards, while he worked in corrections and with juveniles. He helped my family and his family whenever they needed help. Seven years ago after I retired and decided to spend winters in Florida for my arthritis, he had a heart attack. He had a couple of stents put in and recovered well. I began to think about what would I do without him.

I think we have planned for me to be ok financially, but emotionally what will I do without him. He is the love of my life, he is my friend, my companion, my advisor and my guy, like the song. He is always there for me and recently when he was having some heart issues and had to be hospitalized, it hit me like a hammer. I would not be the same person. I would not be able to have his constant support so I would not be as confident as I am today. He has changed me into the woman I am because of his unconditional love. That is what a “Good man” does. I tell all of my former unmarried female students to find a man who empowers you to be all you can be. It is also true a good woman does the same for a man, she empowers him to be the best he can be.

Marriage should be “empowering” and “enabling”  and we should be stronger because of what our partner enables us to do. We should not be weaker. I decided that whatever happens, I will be able to go on to wherever God leads me and the same is true for him, if I precede him in passing. I had never allowed myself to go down that path, but I know my guy would never expect me to do otherwise, except be the outstanding woman he empowered me to be after being married forty six years. Thanks Rob for being my guy and teaching me to be all I can be. Whatever happens we will do what we have to do, survive and thrive.  He taught me well. He is the strong one, the veteran, the one who jumped out a planes in the 101st Airbourne unit during the Korean War.  He still sings to me and chases me around the house. He still cleans and makes the bed better than I ever could. He has never been “intimidated” by my education because he helped me to earn them. He is never “threatened” by all the awards I have received because made it possible for me to be involved in programs helping others. He may not have a college degree, but he is in every aspect the most intelligent, brave guy I have met. That is why I am so glad I prayed and married a “good man” forever.

 

A History of American Protest Music: How The Hutchinson Family Singers Achieved Pop Stardom with an Anti-Slavery Anthem — Longreads

Resisting is important to show that some Americans are against what is being done in a democracy. This musical family took a chance and sang about slavery as abolitionists. This took courage and bravery on their part. It teaches us what to do when our country is going down a path we disagree with.

“Get Off the Track!” borrowed the melody of a racist hit song and helped give a public voice to the abolitionist movement.

via A History of American Protest Music: How The Hutchinson Family Singers Achieved Pop Stardom with an Anti-Slavery Anthem — Longreads